Zodiac Signs as Indian Moms at a Wedding – Sarees, Sass, and Silent Judgments

Weddings in India aren’t events. They’re Bollywood films on steroids, with less editing and more gossip. And at the center of this spectacle? Indian moms — glorious, multitasking, side-eye masters with the power to make or break the buffet line. Here’s how each zodiac sign channels full desi-mom energy at a wedding:

Aries
First one at the venue. Last one to leave. Has already argued with the DJ, rearranged the stage décor, and is now giving instructions to the photographer. Basically, a human flash mob of Type-A energy.

Taurus
Posted near the dessert table. Judging the rasmalai and calculating ROI on the gold worn by other aunties. Brings the calm, until someone insults her ladoos — then it’s emotional Lagaan.

Gemini
Knows everyone's secrets and spills them between mehendi and sangeet . Organizing the antakshari while WhatsApping live updates to relatives in Canada. Has four different blouse designs for each ceremony.

Cancer
Tearing up during pheras and simultaneously fixing the bride’s dupatta. Brings tissues for everyone. Likely to adopt the groom by the end of the night and feed him ghee-laden parathas.

Leo
Enters like it’s K3G, steals the spotlight from the bride, and gives a speech that may or may not include a dance performance. Wears sunglasses indoors and refers to herself in third person.

Virgo
Micromanaging the event planner. Has a Google Doc for the guest list, budget, and caterer’s shortcomings. Spotted fixing centerpieces while criticizing the lighting angles.

Libra
Flawlessly dressed. Has ten selfies with the bride, the mandap, and that one NRI cousin. Smooths over drama with diplomacy and a dab of highlighter.

Scorpio
Mysteriously intense. Gives a one-liner that haunts the gossip aunties for weeks. Maybe cried during the vows. Maybe planned the seating chart to sabotage rivals. No one really knows.

Sagittarius
Dancing before the DJ plugs in. Took over the sangeet choreography and added a flashmob. Might disappear halfway to go “find herself” at the chaat counter.

Capricorn
Handling the finances. Knows which vendor tried to scam the groom’s family. May or may not have brokered the marriage. Treats the wedding like a corporate merger.

Aquarius
Questioning rituals. Asking the priest philosophical questions. Also taught the kids a flashmob on wedding feminism.

Pisces
Lost in memories. Crying during shaadi ke geet, sipping Rooh Afza like it's Dom Perignon, blessing every guest like they’re her own.